<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\u300eYou remember of course the day when I said there was no such thing in this world as a species of men whose unique quality is badness; and one should always be careful not to forget that a gentleman, when attempted, may easily become a rogue. You were then good enough to point out to me that I was excited. You also ask what it was that caused good men to become bad; and when I answered simply, “money,” you looked dissatisfied. I remember well that look of dissatisfaction on your face. I now confess to you that I was then thinking of my uncle. With hatred in my heart, I was thinking of my uncle, who seemed to typify all those ordinary men who become evil for the sake of money, and who seemed to me the personification of all those things in the world which make it unworthy of trust. … \u300f<\/p>\n
\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002<\/p>\n
\u300e… My father would often speak of my uncle in glowing terms, saying what a sound fellow he was, and how superior his brother’s qualities were to his own. “The trouble with inheriting money from one’s parents, ” he once said to my mother and me, “is that it dulls one’s wits. It’s bad thing not to have to struggle for one’s living.” I believe that he said this for my benefit. …\u300f<\/p>\n
\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002<\/p>\n
\u300eTime and again I wondered what had caused K to commit suicide. At first, I was inclined to think that it was disappointment in love. I could think of nothing but love then, and quite naturally I accepted without question the first simple and straightforward explanation that came to my mind. Later, however, when I could think more objectively, I began to wonder whether my explanation had not been too simple. I asked myself, “Was it perhaps because his ideals clashed with reality that he killed himself?” But I could not convince myself that K had chosen death for such a reason. Finally I became aware of the possibility that K had experienced loneliness as terrible as mine, and wishing to escape quickly from it, had killed himself. Once more, fear gripped my heart . From then on, like a gust of winter wind, the premonition that I was treading the same path as K had done would rush at me from time to time and chill me to the bone.\u300f<\/p>\n
\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002\u3002<\/p>\n
\u300eI read in the paper the words General Nogi had written before killing himself. I learned that ever since the Seinan War, when he lost his banner to the enemy, he had been wanting to redeem his honor through death. I found myself automatically counting the years the General had lived, always with death at the back of his mind. The Seinan War, as you know, took place in the tenth year of Meiji. He must therefore lived for thirty-five years, waiting fir the proper time to die. I asked myself:”When did he suffer greater agony – during those thirty-five years, or the moment when the sword entered his bowels?”<\/p>\n
I was two or three days later that I decided at last to commit suicide. Perhaps you will not understand clearly why I am about to die, no more than I can fully understand why General Nogi killed himself. You and I belong to different eras and so we think differently. …\u300f<\/p>\n
“Kokoro,” by S\u014dseki Natsume<\/p>\n
2016\/7\/27 Kokoro Damakey<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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