{"id":2863,"date":"2019-05-26T15:42:32","date_gmt":"2019-05-26T07:42:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/damakey.com\/?p=2863"},"modified":"2023-06-05T16:31:00","modified_gmt":"2023-06-05T08:31:00","slug":"to-give-a-fuck-or-not","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/damakey.com\/?p=2863","title":{"rendered":"To give a fuck or not"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u300e<\/span>…The Stoics of ancient Greece and Rome implored people to keep death in mind at all times<\/span>,<\/span>in order to appreciate life more and remain humble in the face of its adversities. In various forms of Buddhism<\/span>,<\/span>the practice of meditation is always taught as a means of preparing oneself for death while still remaining alive. Dissolving one<\/span>’<\/span>s ego into an expansive nothingness — achieving the enlightened state of nirvana — is seen as a trial run of letting oneself cross to the other side. Even Mark Twin<\/span>,<\/span>the hairy goofball who came in and left on Halley<\/span>’<\/span>s Comet<\/span>,<\/span>said <\/span>,<\/span><\/span>“<\/span>The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lived fully is prepared to die at any time.<\/span>”\u300f<\/span>*<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u300e<\/span>Confronting the reality of our mortality is important because it obliterates all the crappy<\/span>,<\/span>fragile<\/span>,<\/span>superficial values in life. While most people whittle their days chasing another buck <\/span>,<\/span>or a little bit more fame and attention<\/span>,<\/span>or a little bit more assurance that they<\/span>’<\/span>re right or loved<\/span>,<\/span>death confronts all of us with a far more painful and important question: What is your legacy?<\/span><\/p>\n

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How will the world be different and better when you<\/span>’<\/span>re gone? What mark will you have made? What influence will have caused? They say that a butterfly flapping its wings in Africa can cause a hurricane In Florida<\/span>;<\/span>well<\/span>,<\/span>what hurricane will you leave in your wake?<\/span><\/p>\n

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As Becker pointed out<\/span>,<\/span>this is arguable the only truly important question in our life. Yet we avoid thinking about it . One<\/span>,<\/span>because it<\/span>’<\/span>s hard. Two<\/span>,<\/span>because it<\/span>’<\/span>s scary. Three<\/span>,<\/span>because we have no fucking clue what we<\/span>’<\/span>re doing.<\/span><\/p>\n

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And when we avoid the question <\/span>,<\/span>we let trivial and hateful values hijack our brains and take control of our desires and ambition. Without acknowledging the ever-present gaze of death<\/span>,<\/span>the superficial will appear important<\/span>,<\/span>and the important will become superficial. Death is the only thing we can know with any certainty. And as such<\/span>,<\/span>it must be the compass by which we orient all of our other values and decisions. It is the correct answer to all of the questions we should ask but never do. The only way to be comfortable with death is to understand and see yourself as something bigger than yourself<\/span>,<\/span>that are simple and immediate and controllable and tolerant of chaotic world around you. This is the basic root of all happiness. When you<\/span>’<\/span>re listening to Aristotle is the psychologists at Harvard or Jesus Christ or the goddamn Beatles<\/span>,<\/span>the all say that happiness comes from the same thing: caring about something greater than yourself<\/span>,<\/span>believing that you are a contributing component in some much bigger entity<\/span>,<\/span>that your life is but a mere side process of some great unintelligible production. This feeling is what people go to church for<\/span>;<\/span>it<\/span>’<\/span>s what they fight in wars for<\/span>;<\/span>it<\/span>’<\/span>s what they raise families and save pensions and build bridges and invent cell phones for: this fleeting sense of being part of something greater and more unknowable than themselves.<\/span><\/p>\n

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And entitlement strips this away from us. The gravity of entitlement sucks all attention inward<\/span>,<\/span>toward ourselves<\/span>,<\/span>causing us to feel as though we are at the center of all the problems in the universe<\/span>,<\/span>that we are the only one suffering all of injustices<\/span>,<\/span>that we are the one who deserves greatness over all others.<\/span>\u300f<\/span>*<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u300e<\/span>You are great already because in the face of endless confusion and certain death<\/span>,<\/span>you continue to choose what to give a fuck about and what not to. This mere fact<\/span>,<\/span>this simple optioning for your own values in life<\/span>,<\/span>already makes you beautiful<\/span>,<\/span>already makes you successful<\/span>,<\/span>and already make you loved. Even if you don<\/span>’<\/span>t realize it. Even if you<\/span>’<\/span>re sleeping in a gutter and starving.<\/span><\/p>\n

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You too are going to die<\/span>,<\/span>and that<\/span>’<\/span>s because you too were fortunate enough to have lived…<\/span>\u300f<\/span>*<\/span><\/p>\n

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So the acid test is alway that to ask yourself if you are going to die any time soon what are most important things to you and what are shallow and trivial ones. We often have spent too much effort<\/span>,<\/span>giving unnecessary fucks<\/span>,<\/span>on unimportant trivial things. Only if we can see through what are our most precious values of life then we can prioritize our time and resources to always give effective fucks.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Instead of feeling angry when others not giving us a fuck or do give us a fuck<\/span>,<\/span>why not sitting back and relax<\/span>,<\/span>and thinking about whom and what you are going to give a fuck or not to.<\/span><\/p>\n

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For certain we are going to die anyway and we do have limited number of fucks to give. Let<\/span>’<\/span>s give those we love their deserved fucks.<\/span><\/p>\n

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When others giving us fucks<\/span>,<\/span>no matter how uncomfortable we may feel<\/span>,<\/span>we should appreciate that at least we are so important that others bothering to give us fucks.<\/span><\/p>\n

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To give a fuck or not. That is the question.<\/span><\/p>\n

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*: <\/span>“<\/span>The subtle art of not giving a fuck<\/span>,”<\/span>by Mark Manson <\/span><\/p>\n

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2019\/5\/26 To give a fuck or not Damakey<\/span><\/p>\n

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<\/a>
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\u300e…The Stoics of ancient …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"content-type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2863","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-3"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/damakey.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2863","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/damakey.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/damakey.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damakey.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damakey.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2863"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/damakey.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2863\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":31758,"href":"https:\/\/damakey.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2863\/revisions\/31758"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/damakey.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2863"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damakey.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2863"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/damakey.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2863"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}